I cannot seem to get over whatever it is that has been ailing me, and I am losing my patience with the process. My throat aches and feels inflamed; my head hurts; the upper part of my chest feels tight; I feel tired. I’m not running a fever, so it is not likely to be an infection. The only thing I can say for certain is that it has hung around entirely too long. I’ll try to get an appointment this week with the doctor to see whether the professional medicos have anything new to add.
Insomnia, which has been an affliction of nearly all of my life, comes and goes. When I was working I was usually at the office at 6:00 a.m. Three other guys were there, too. We had coffee; we shared a few words; we got to work. I miss those guys. I miss working a regular job.
I miss a lot of things.
I miss the paycheck (always nice), but more than that I miss the work and the people. I miss talking with Keith about what was on PBS Sunday evening (we’re both Anglophiles). I miss John having a bit of a rant about whatever was in the news that morning. I miss Mark’s concentration on his work as I filled up my coffee cup. I’m actually missing just a little bit the way Dave would come back and ask me the same questions (“How’s the puppy doing?” — as if our younger dog were still very ill this many years later). I miss hearing Tex on the phone in the morning, talking to his young son before his son left for school (“I luv ya, buddy!”). I miss the daily email from Richard asking what was a good time to take a walk.
I miss sitting down at my desk and sorting out the work for the day. I miss scanning a multi-page wiring diagram and then putting it all together into one enormous piece. I miss building up an image from only a line drawing and a poor photograph. I miss the kind of problem-solving that comes from resolving those kinds of creative challenges.
But I seem to be getting over some of my grieving for all of that, and that’s a good thing.
The job search continues, and it continues to be a slow process. I’ve found a few jobs to apply for, and at least two jobs I applied for two months ago are finally coming onto someone’s radar. We’ll see what happens.
So, nothing really new here. I have insomnia and I’m still trying to get over whatever this crud is that ails me.
I’m going to figure out whether I’d like to tackle cleaning up the kitchen or just sitting down to knit. While I do that, you can look at this cute puppy picture (Casey when he was just a few months old and before he got sick) to pass the time.