Journal Entry

Thursday Blues

I had an appointment yesterday at 4:00 p.m. to see a counselor.  Well, she’s a full-blown psychiatrist, so there wasn’t much back-and-forth discussion.  Of course, it was just our first meeting and she was taking a lot of notes.  Anyway, I won’t get a chance to see her for about 2 weeks, so I decided I’d better keep a journal of everything going through my head.  There is so much going on.  I told her mainly about work (and she confirmed my suspicions about people in the office who are adding to the stress), but there are other things.

A friend in the UK was diagnosed with early onset dementia (as in, early stages, I think), which is expected to get a full diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.  I got that news on Sunday.

On Tuesday evening I got an email from one of my sisters that her husband was diagnosed as being in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

Here’s the thing about Alzheimer’s:  It’s harder on everyone than it is on the person who has it.  The person with Alzheimer’s just starts fading into the fog of non-memory, while the rest of us watch him/her disappear over a period of time.  Fortunately it’s not known to be physically painful, but I suspect there are moments of fear when a person suddenly doesn’t know where he/she is, or who he/she is.  And it’s not like the memories of these two people is going to disappear overnight.

But it hurts.

The boss at the office just emailed to ask me if he’d made a reservation for a lunch that is tomorrow.  I emailed back that I don’t know because I don’t keep his calendar.  The former secretary/office manager/miracle worker (the one whose last day was nearly a week ago) didn’t keep his calendar, either.  We’re going to have to drag this guy into the current century somehow, but it won’t be easy.  He doesn’t check his calendar even when there is an appointment on it.  He is routinely late for everything, and he has completely blown off some meetings and appointments.  The man is a narcissist and his wife and son are enablers.  And we’re left to deal with it.

Suffice it to say that the job hunt isn’t turning up very much.